loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
