so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize