I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
