even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Slut skills are useful in every country.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
