I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
