Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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