There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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