shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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