Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
