Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
