He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
