The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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