I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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