Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
