I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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