this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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