So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
