do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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