Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
