Its about making memories worth repressing
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
