I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
