1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
