franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
