She said her name was "party"
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
