You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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