Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
