Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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