return my video game
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize