margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
