they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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