Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
