News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
