woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He shit in the fireplace
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
