I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
