Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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