apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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