this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
