Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
