my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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