You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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