Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
two words...techno handjob
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
