I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
