the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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