I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize