There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
