I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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