It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
