sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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