I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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