plz talk dirty to me
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We are two peas in an std pod
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
