All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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