"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
