I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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