So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
