I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You need a sexual gate keeper
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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