If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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