Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I will pee on everything he values.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
