Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The power of my boobs compel you
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
