Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize