Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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