I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
