so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
